Strawberry & Rhubarb Fields Forever

I realized over the weekend that I really may not be "of this world," even though it is apparent that I am, physically. I was asked whether I was "very jealous," and in contemplating this and examining my feelings, I realized I did not feel jealous whatsoever. Not even a bit. Not an iota.

What I did realize, is that behaviours that may potentially elicit jealousy, or drama, simply do not interest me - I don't find it attractive. In the right (or appropriate) context, I don't consider it unattractive. In any event, observing others' behaviours is what it is - an observation. Making an observation can be construed by others as being judged. But, my observations are simply that, nothing else. Verbalizing an observation is not a judgment. That said, I understand how someone may construe the verbalization of an observation as a judgment. It is curious to observe defensiveness in simply asking a question, or making an observation.

In the past, I may have perceived this emotion (jealousy) to represent what I feel about a person (that I liked the individual), however I now realize it does not, that the feeling has everything to do with insecurity and the belief that it is a limited universe.

I also realized that caring about others is not about analyzing and thinking things through to the point of excess. It is sometimes just being, or listening. I likely need to listen more, or just be, rather than verbalize observations. Thinking about this made me think of the Beatles song:

Living is easy with eyes closed...misunderstanding all you see...
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out...
It doesn't matter much to me....

This morning upon arriving at work I was observing the tremendous water fall painting by Derek Besant, consisting of 12 large squares vertically (to the ceiling), and 6 large squares horizontally. It could simply be a highly developed imagination, but I felt I could hear the water roaring, crashing down. Terrific, inspiring way to start a day at 6:51am.